Leaderboards iconLeaderboards Become a Member iconBecome a Member Shop iconShop , external transformedLinkTrade In iconTrade In , external transformedLink
ask & answer

Parent’s Guide: Golf Should Never Define Who Your Child is as a Person

Published on

The advice I pass along to young players and their parents often deals with the mental and emotional aspects of the game. 
More from PGA
image
Parent’s Guide: Start with a Realistic Assessment of Your Child’s Game
image
Parent’s Guide: Understanding the Process of Working with a PGA Coach
image
Parent’s Guide: Helping Your Child Build a Plan and Set Goals
image
Parent’s Guide: Being Mindful of the Mental and Emotional Side of the Game
image
Parent’s Guide: Being Okay with Defeat, Failure & Bad Play
When you consider that golf is one of the hardest sports, it’s actually pretty amazing that so many people fall in love with it. One of the things that makes the game so difficult is the mental grind it becomes for many, and especially for those that show promise as they progress. 
Club tossing, cursing, and fits of rage yelling things like ‘I’m done! I’m never playing this stupid game again!’ all have a funny way of keeping those very same people continuing to grind away at the sport they “love.”
There is a very fine line when it comes to this topic and young golfers….is it merely a sense of “passion” for the game, or is it for some, creeping into more dangerous territory? Something that can potentially become an unhealthy obsession with finding the unattainable “perfection” that so many seek?
I’m sure that this happens in other concentrations for young people…music, art, other sports, or even the quest for a 4.0 GPA. In any circumstance, a pre-teen or teenager needs to understand completely that golf, or whatever their chosen passion is, does not define them as a person…and never should.
As parents, when people say nice things about our children, it is in a way, validation to us on how we raised them. But ultimately, doesn’t it feel much more fulfilling to hear things about our children’s character, how they behave, how they treat others, than it is to hear, “Boy, they have an amazing golf swing.”? 
Sure, that feels nice to hear too, but as I said, their chosen passion should not be the thing that defines who they are as a person. 
When we have the opportunity to bring a child up in a game as amazing as golf, it is a very special thing. For those that truly and deeply love the game, you understand what I mean when I say that. Everything that a child can learn about life through the game, no matter what level they play, is to their advantage as they grow. However, it is important to watch for instances where the difficulty of the game can have a reverse effect on them…where they are not learning and where they are struggling with the emotional aspects that come up. Kids often don’t quite know how to get through those situations and while it's good for them to learn, you as a parent may need to step in and assist.
Earlier this year, I had the chance to have a great chat with Mr. John O’Sullivan. John is a world-renowned speaker in the area of parenting young athletes. He is the founder of the Changing the Game Project and host of the Way of the Champions Podcast. His 2014 TED Talk has had nearly half a million views. I’ll leave you with one of the things John said that has stuck with me most as a PGA Coach and also as a dad to my son and daughter…
“Our children should never think that our love of them depends upon the outcome of a competition. If we get upset, sad or angry when they lose, our kids see that and perform worse. Regardless of whether they win or lose, whether they play well or poorly, after competition tell them “I love watching you play.” That’s it. These simple words help remove the fear of failure and expectations of success, which is a paralyzer for many young athletes.”
Brendon R. Elliott, PGA

Sorrento, FL

Brendon Elliott

Director of Instruction, Freelance Golf Writer

After 16 remarkable years of nurturing young talent and fostering a love for golf through The Little Linksters Golf Academy, Brendon Elliott is excited to announce the transition of leadership to esteemed Coach Ricky Collado in 2025. As the baton is passed, Coach Ricky will take charge of all operations and become the primary point of contact for any Linksters-related inquiries. As Brendon steps into a new chapter, the focus will shift to launching and growing BE A GOLFER, a new academy dedicated to competitive teenage golfers. This initiative will continue both in-person and remote coaching, harnessing years of expertise to nurture the next generation of golfing talent. Further expanding horizons, Brendon will also dedicate time to One More Roll Golf Media. This venture aims to collaborate with various golf media outlets and businesses, delivering high-quality written, video, and voice content. Despite these new ventures, Brendon will remain closely connected with Little Linksters. A commitment to collaboration with Coach Ricky will continue, particularly with projects like the PGA Junior League, ensuring a lasting impact and smooth transition. “I am thrilled about the future of Little Linksters under Coach Ricky Collado’s leadership. This transition marks a change and an exciting new direction for me and the academy. I look forward to contributing my efforts towards developing competitive young golfers and advancing in the golf media landscape.” ~ Brendon R. Elliott, PGA More About Coach Brendon... Brendon Elliott is a distinguished PGA Professional who has received over 25 prestigious industry awards recognizing his contributions and influence in youth golf, most notably, the 2017 PGA of America National Youth Player Development Award. With numerous appearances on the Golf Channel and local news outlets in Florida, Brendon has established himself as a respected educator and influencer in the golf industry. Renowned for his expertise in all aspects of golf, he is a sought-after speaker at golfing events and panels. In the past three years, Brendon has expanded into media, writing for esteemed outlets such as PGA.com, PGA Magazine, Golf.com, GolfWRX.com, RG.org, and many others. Elliott is also part of the “Quiet Please Golf Podcast” crew and hosts a livestream show on the Golf Live App called “Monday Evening Tee Time.” Brendon’s dedication to advancing the sport has made a significant impact on the golf community.

Meet Brendon
PGA Home Page
PGA of America

The PGA of America is one of the world's largest sports organizations, composed of PGA of America Golf Professionals who work daily to grow interest and participation in the game of golf.

Follow Us
FacebookXLinkedinInstagramYouTubeTikTok
ExploreFind a Coach Find a Course PGA Events Leaderboard Stories PGA Shop , external transformedLink
ContactContact About Media Center , external transformedLinkPartners
JoinBecome a PGA Member Work In Golf PGA Sections PGA of America Careers , external transformedLink
ImpactPGA REACH , external transformedLinkPGA Inclusion Make Golf Your Thing , external transformedLink
© Copyright PGA of America 2024.
Privacy Policy California Privacy Notice Terms of Service Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information , external transformedLink
Official Technology Services AgencyCapTech